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Jenny Pan

Jenny Pan, AMFT

Retreat Therapist for Neurodivergent Couples and Individuals
 

For years, I lived in a marriage that left me feeling emotionally invisible.

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We didn’t know we were a neurodiverse couple. We didn’t have a diagnosis, a manual, or a shared language. I just knew I felt alone—even when we were sitting in the same room.

 

It wasn’t until after our divorce that my former partner was diagnosed as autistic. That moment brought clarity—but also grief for what we never understood in time.

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Now, I help other couples find that clarity before everything unravels.

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Because this isn’t about blame. It’s about wiring. And once you stop trying to force sameness, you can start building something real—something that works.

The Power of Retreat: Time to Breathe, Space to Reconnect

Most couples in neurodiverse relationships aren’t short on effort—they’re short on understanding.

 

The daily grind doesn’t leave much space to reflect, decode, or heal. That’s where the retreat space comes in.

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At the Neurodiverse Retreat, I help couples pause the cycles of frustration and disconnection long enough to finally see each other clearly. We create a calm, structured container to:

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  • Understand your neurotypes and communication patterns
     

  • Slow down the emotional reactivity
     

  • Rebuild connection after years of misattunement
     

  • Practice new tools in real time
     

Whether you're still in the relationship, just starting out, or on the edge of walking away, this is a place to get honest—and to find your next step.

When You're in Cassandra Syndrome, the Pain is Hidden

I didn’t have the words for it back then—but I was living through Cassandra Syndrome.

 

I constantly felt confused, depleted, and emotionally rejected. But when I tried to name it, I was told I was too sensitive, too demanding, too much.

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That mismatch between emotional need and neurodivergent response can quietly unravel a relationship from the inside.

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Now I help others name it—so the healing can begin.

Fluent in Complexity: Language, Culture, and Family Structure

I was born in Taiwan, raised in New York, and now parent in a bilingual, neurodiverse, blended family.

 

My life is a tapestry of cultural expectations, emotional depth, parenting chaos, and relational repair.

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I’m fluent in English and Mandarin Chinese. I often provide therapy in a hybrid “Chinglish” mode (combining English and Chinese with both languages’ nuances and jargons).

 

I specialize in helping multicultural couples and families who are navigating multiple levels of difference:

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  • Neurotype
     

  • Culture
     

  • Language
     

  • Parenting style
     

  • Emotional expression
     

These differences don’t have to divide you—but they must be acknowledged and understood.

Blended Families + Neurodivergence = A Lot to Hold

I live this reality every day. My family includes my two kids (one with ADHD) and my husband’s adult children.

 

We’ve had to build our own system from the ground up—through loyalty binds, clashing parenting styles, sensory overload, and competing emotional needs.

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When one or more people in the family are neurodivergent, everything from morning routines to emotional repair takes more intention.

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I work with families like mine to:

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  • Build shared rituals that support everyone’s nervous system
     

  • Create parenting plans that account for executive functioning differences
     

  • Foster connection without forcing emotional sameness
     

  • Heal the grief of not having the "ideal" family
     

Your family doesn’t have to be seamless. It just has to be real.

My Book: Asian American Chronicles: Tales of Mental Health & Hope

I’m a proud co-author of this collection, written with my professor and classmates.

 

My chapter explores the experience of growing up in a culture of silence and perfectionism—while slowly finding the courage to speak my truth.

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For anyone who has ever felt caught between roles, expectations, or emotional needs that weren’t welcome, this book offers hope and solidarity.

Areas of Focus & More

Specialties
 

  • Neurodiverse & Neurotypical Couples Counseling
     

  • Cassandra Syndrome and emotional invisibility
     

  • Blended and multicultural families
     

  • Co-parenting with neurodivergence in the mix
     

  • Complex trauma, emotional neglect, and boundary confusion
     

  • LGBTQ+ affirming relationship support
     

License & Employment Information
 

Modalities:
 

  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
     

  • Internal Family Systems (IFS)
     

  • Polyvagal theory
     

  • Trauma-informed care
     

  • Gottman Method

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